charm city

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I realize that as of late my blog has been extremely coupon-heavy, but guess what?  There aren’t any coupons this weekend so I’m left to ruminate about my life in charm city now, compared to as little as a month ago.

The biggest change is that my brother’s blood numbers are going up to levels that he hasn’t seen since before he was diagnosed.  The treatment seems to be doing it’s job and my brother seems to be responding to it.  There is a big weight that will be lifted off my shoulders once the good doctors at Johns Hopkins declare him well.  The thought of losing my brother came with an unbearable sadness that, in combination with the loss of my mom, I was just barely handling in the first place.  I’m happy, to say the least, that things are progressing in the right direction.

If you keep up with me on Facebook you may have also noticed that I am now employed, working at a neighborhood bar in Fell’s Point. I tend the bar twice a week and I really enjoy it.  I have to say that it’s kind of awesome that I actually have fun at work, it’s a completely different atmosphere than what I’m used to. I love it.

You know, honestly, I was never expecting to get attached to Baltimore, I guess because of the circumstances that brought me here.  I can see now why they call this place charm city.  It is downright charming once you get to know it!  The weather is pleasant(sans earthquakes, hurricanes), the city’s lack of pretense is nothing short of refreshing, and the people?  Come on, forget about it!  When the time comes, I will be very sad to leave.

I don’t think that it’s been any secret that once I got a taste of what it was like to live outside of Texas, all I wanted to do was move. Over the years though, moving seemed more and more impossible.  To do it responsibly would require things like a decent job and money.  Neither of which I have been able to find, earn, or win. Which I find quite shocking considering my highly lucrative journalism degree…

In the spirit of being honest, I struggle with maintaining a positive outlook for my future.  Especially if that future is in Dallas.  For instance, I see how Dallas is represented on “Most Eligible” and it makes me sick because, as much as I wish I could say “oh, that’s not how it really is,” it is.  If I ever do decide to try and actually meet someone– that’s the scene I have to wade through!

Dudes actually act like that to get girls. The idea, while fun, is neither hopeful or encouraging.

As amazing as it is to be single, unemployed and living in my high school room in Dallas, I would give it all up to be able to see where my life in Baltimore goes for a couple more months.  It’s very unrealistic to think that I will be able to stay here, but I want to leave on my terms.   I’m not ready to go now that I’m all settled in.  This has been a year of many downs and very few ups.  I would consider my life here an up and I really want to hold on to it.

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About darkandautonomous

I've always liked to write and this blog has motivated me to write now that I'm out of college. I write about couponing, cooking, and dealing with grief. I also share thoughts on other topics as they relate to my life. If you enjoy it, go ahead and follow me.

One response »

  1. I think you and I are much alike. I have found that the newness of the place is what’s exciting. There’s always pros/cons that are obvious, and more fun ones that live underneath the surface.

    Frankly, I’m over the moon you have found something to enjoy, and happier that your brother is doing so much better.

    Miss you terribly.
    Binks

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