Tag Archives: losing a sibling

On Children and Grief

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On Children and Grief

Hi there!

As usual, it’s been a minute since I have posted.  I could tell you any number of excuses why, but, I’ll spare you and just thank you for reading today.

Many things have happened in the last seven months.  A quick recap: I got my tonsils out, I went on a trip to New Mexico, I’ve even been to visit my brother in the Bay thrice since then.  I’m still in grad school working toward my master’s degree in counseling with an emphasis on grief, expressive art therapy and play therapy.  I still love it.

That’s why I’m writing today, actually.  If you’ve read my blog, spoken to me, or seen me in the last three and a half years, you probably know that I’m a nanny.  It is also very likely you know that princess buttercup and mr. butterbean’s mom died (October 24, 2014).  Having been through the death of my own mother, combined with experiencing life with the kiddos I nanny leading up to, during and after the death of their mom is what motivated me to seek a career in counseling.

Why though?  Well. Losing a parent sucks.  Regardless of the circumstances, it is profoundly distressing on so many different levels- some of which take years to understand- and I’m speaking of this happening during adulthood.  As a child, it’s profoundly distressing on many different levels, for many years and at each new stage of development and for each major life event after the loss.

Kids are resilient, however, that’s a lot of emotions to process over and over for the rest of a lifetime.  Especially if the adult(s) in the family are dealing with their own grief, role changes, financial stress and/or all the other stressors that come along with the death of a loved one.  The kids could easily be overlooked, or due to misinformation, not even acknowledged as a grieving person.

Everyone who  is capable of loving is capable of grieving and everyone-especially the youngest of humans- deserves to have their feelings about the death acknowledged.  It’s hard for kids to articulate what they are feeling, they simply don’t have the language. As a result, sometimes their actions are not easily recognized as being grief related.

Children who experience the death of someone they love need to have a safe space or trusted person to explore those overwhelming and confusing feelings.  This Thursday, November 17th is National Children’s Grief Awareness Day.
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Please join me in acknowledging and furthering a cause that I feel so strongly about that I have dedicated the majority of my current life to be that trusted person not only for the littles that I nanny, but for other children in need, including the kiddos at the organization for which I volunteer- Journey of Hope.

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Newbie training/Orientation in August

You can support the cause and let thousands of grieving children know that you’re on their side by simply wearing blue on Thursday.

If you have a child or work with children, you can print a butterfly for them to decorate and tell them they can hold it up when or if they don’t have the words to say that they’re hurting.  By responding with extra love, attention and empathy, we empower their little souls by helping them recognize that we care and  will do whatever it takes to guide them safely through one of the toughest parts of the human experience.  We can help them learn that in pain, there is strength.

Thank you for reading and I hope you help me will spread awareness of this important day.

Donate to Journey of Hope here

Donate to the National Alliance for Grieving Children here

Read more about what grief looks like in children here and  here